6 Steps to Becoming the Boss of Your Own Brain

The world is filled with critics, people ready to bring you down and undermine your life. But what we find as often as not is that the most critical, harmful, and damaging words we hear each day come not from others, but from that six inch space between our own ears. Here are 6 easy steps to taking control of your overthinking.

1. Stop Overthinking Your Overthinking

   
   

   The problem with the term "overthinking", is that it implies there is a problem with your brain's desire to process events that are scary, dangerous, or unpleasant. But the truth is ruminating on past events is not a sign of brokenness, in fact it is the exact way in which your brain learns to avoid repeating past mistakes. Your brain fixates on certain events in order to help you learn and grow from them.

   
   

   Of course if we allow our thoughts to run the show, we can potentially be stuck in a pattern of negative thinking that avoids letting us make the positive changes we need to. But, contrary to what many think, "overthinking" is not usually the problem here. Instead, "underthinking", or constantly avoiding letting ourselves think or process from the negative thought, is what robs us of our energy and our peace. Which leads to the next point:

   
   

2. Let Yourself Have the Scary Thought

   
   

   We spend our lives avoiding thoughts like, "I am a failure", "I am unloved", "I am worthless", only to realize that the more we hide from the thoughts, the more power the thoughts are given. In my office I often encourage clients to do the scary thing and give voice to the thoughts they are so afraid to think. And every single time we've done this, the client reports feeling better. Letting it out is letting it go.

   
   

3. Give your Thought a Think

   
   

   When the thought comes out of that scary dark place in the back of our minds and into the light of day, it stops feeling like a boogeyman, and becomes what it actually is: Just Some Thought. When we realize these thoughts aren't necessarily holders of great secret truths, we can look at them, think about them, and critique them back. "Look at you, stupid Thought. You don't make sense at all. And also? No one likes you!" How's that for a fun reversal!
   

4. Try the Thought On Someone Else

   
   

   Now if you are still struggling to criticize the thoughts, here's a trick I've found that can always straighten out my brain a little: Take the thought I'm having about me, and try it on someone else. "My best friend is a failure". "My daughter is ugly". "My coworker is worthless". Can I be honest? Every time I've practiced this with someone, they become instantly offended for their friends and loved ones. We become so defensive on behalf of those we love, that we will immediately jump to explaining how our friend has NOT failed, our daughter is in fact BEAUTIFUL, and our coworker has IMMENSE worth.
   

5. Now Turn it Back on Yourself

   
   

   Now comes the hard part, we have to reverse Golden Rule ourselves here: "Say unto myself only what I would say unto others." If a thought breaks this rule, then we know that thought is broken, abusive, harmful, and has no business ruling our brainspace.

   
   

6. Marie Kondo Your Thought

   
   

   The last step in this journey comes in the form of a major brain de-clutter. Now that we've brought all the nasty thoughts out into the open, we've laid them all out on the bed and closely examined each one, we get to decide what we're going to keep, and what's headed for the dump. Does this thought serve you today? Is it honoring to you? Is it honoring to those around you? Is this thought enhancing your life, or stealing from it? You might find you've been holding on to worthless thoughts for years. It's time to clean up and find freedom. Thank the thought for its service, and chuck it straight into the bin.

   
   

   Keeping your Brain Clean

   
   

   Now throwing away thoughts takes time and discipline. Because unlike throwing away your outdated platform shoes and miniskirts, this is not a one-and-done activity. You will have the thought. You will take it out. You will give it a good look. You will decide once again that that thought has no place here anymore, and you will choose to kick it to the curb. But over time, this process becomes more and more automatic. As with any discipline, practice makes perfect.

   
   

   With these few steps you can start to learn FREEDOM from nasty disruptive, anxiety-inducing brain patterns, and learn to live the life you were created for.